For the 5th Time

Tuesday , I had to make a turnaround trip to Marble Falls, Tx. Wed morning at 4am I returned home to find a strange vehicle in my driveway.
Now I drive a Chevy 1 Ton , 4x4, 4 door pickup and I am pulling a 30' car hauling enclosed trailer. I must park in the street.
I don't know how many thoughts went through my head.
Sancho?
Kid's friend? (not at 4 am, surely)
Thief?
Sancho?
Kid's girlfriend ( it is 4 am,....)

As I approach this van that I now see has its headlights on (but they are dimming), and then I notice that my son's 98 crown vic is smashed on the driver's rear bumper , trunk , and tail light.
The van is also cratered!!!!! So I look closely and sure enough there is a young man asleep in the van!!!
I CALL 911!
911-you've reached 911 , What is your emergency?
me: Yes maam , there has been an vehicle accident at my address.
911: Are there any injuries?
me: Only to this guy's pride when he wakes up!
911: Excuse me?
me: Drunk driver in my driveway -passed out at the wheel-don't really want to wake him-he looks so peaceful!!
911: Officers are on the way!

While waiting on the officers , I leaned on the drivers side of the van window and this guy kind of stirred. He tapped the brakes and twisted the steering wheel and nodded back out. As I took my weight off of the van and it moved- This guy opened his EYES --THEN JERKED THE STEERING WHEEL RIGHT --THEN LEFT!!!!!! He then nodded back out -I guess satisfied that he had avoided hitting a pedestrian.

The B.S.P.D officers arrive in force---slow night I guess---and light up the whole neighborhood!!
It was like daylight and the video cameras are rolling, ( it is neat how fast these guys have adapted to pointing thier vehicles for the best camera angle)
Officer J: (beating on car door) Sir? Sir?
Officer J: (opening the car door) Sir? Buddy? Sir?
RipVAN: (stands for ripped in a van) Huh?
Officer J:Sir , do you know where you are??
Rip Van: Uhhhhh, Yeah, I'm waiting for my table!!
NOW THIS ACTUALLY SOUNDED LIKE..................uhhwatinftaable
Officer J: Sir , do you know who I am????
Rip Van: Yeah, I hope your the guy taking me to my table , I'm hungry.
Officer J: Sir , You are in this gentleman's driveway , do you know how you got here???
Rip Van: Uhhhhh, I'm not fixing to eat, Am I???
Officer J: Probably around 6.30, cause that is when the burrito lady comes downtown!!!!

This young man went to the car with out any incidents, but shortly his record came back from
state computers.
BLUE WARRANT -BLUE WARRANT (denotes a past prison record w\violation)
WANTED IN HOUSTON FOR..................................
ASSAULT ON A POLICE OFFICER
DEADLY CONDUCT
FLEEING AND ELUDING

Now at this point the cops are both surprised and happy!!! Surprised because he seemed so mellow with them, and happy because he had just shorted the paperwork process by 2 hours.
This is where I start thinking....
Shit- what if he had gone in my house instead of asleep?
What if he had missed the car and drove through the house?
What if he had not swerved and missed me , but had awoken and not missed me?

There is a good ending to this story. As the title reads for the 5 th time??
In my 22+years of marriage this is the fifth time someone has run into our vehicles whilst it was parked in our driveway!!!! BUT THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME -----THE VERY FIRST TIME
THAT THE DRUNK WAS FULLY INSURED. Farmers insurance will fix #2's car this week

Thanks for your time
scotte